Memories of Home Read online

  The two women exchanged a fast hug, then Anna motioned for one of her waitresses to come by and top off their waiting glasses with a pitcher of lemonade.

  “Oh, you know me, any excuse to eat some of your home cooking. Today we’re celebrating Ellie’s ranchiversary. Two weeks now!”

  “Welcome, Ellie. Don’t let Liz fool you. She usually waits for the one-month milestone to bring folks by. If you’re only at two weeks, then she must really like you.” Anna tossed her a sly wink that sent her and Liz into a burst of giggles.

  Ellie smiled and took a long, appreciative slurp of her lemonade.

  “So what’s your story? Where are you from?” Anna asked after a brief pause, her full attention focused on Ellie.

  Ellie choked on her lemonade, having to hit her chest to stop the coughing fit that came out of nowhere. Her story? How could she share that with this friendly stranger when she didn’t even know it for herself?

  “Anna,” Liz scolded. “You know not to ask my ranch friends that.”

  “You’re right! I’m sorry. It’s a force of habit with out-of-towners.”

  “How’d you know I wasn’t from here?” Ellie wanted to know.

  “Oh, honey. It’s something we just know. We can spot lower forty-eight folk coming from a mile away,” she answered with a laugh.

  “I’m from California,” Ellie supplied, “but I’m seriously considering a move up here when my time at the ranch is through.”

  “Well, that would be just lovely. Now, what can I get ya to eat?”

  “Anna Wilde, you know full well we’re both here for the moose,” Elizabeth Jane said with a dramatic shake of her head.

  “But I always ask just in case.” Anna winked again before turning back to the kitchen. She waved over her shoulder as she trounced away. “It’ll be up in five, ladies!”

  Another waitress came over and topped off their lemonades while Ellie continued to study the unusual décor. “She seems nice,” she said with an awkward smile.

  “Just wait until you meet my other friends. The longer you’re here, the more of them will find reasons to stop by and say hello. I suspect you’ll especially like Scarlett. She spends a lot of time reading, just like you.”

  Ellie nodded and took another long gulp of her lemonade. Just how long would she be here? As much as she loved the ranch and almost everything in it, she hated to think her recovery could take months or years or never even happen at all.

  “So, two weeks! How is everything going for you?”

  “It’s great. I love the ranch and everything about it.”

  Liz quirked an eyebrow. “Everything?”

  “I know what you mean, and no, I guess not everything. Landon sure knows how to get under my skin sometimes.”

  “I’m sure he wants to get under a lot more than just your skin, sweetie,” Liz quipped, causing Ellie to choke on her lemonade yet again.

  “Relax, relax!” Liz rushed around the table to pat Ellie on the back and help her breathe again. “I’m just giving you a hard time. Even though that boy seriously has the hots for you.”

  Ellie glared at her former friend across the table. “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh, I know it isn’t for you, and I’m sorry if I spoke out of line. At the end of the day, Landon is one of our best ranch hands, so you should consider yourself lucky that he’s decided to work with you as much as he has.”

  Ellie groaned, but then seeing the opportunity decided to try a different track. “Speaking of, do you think maybe I could try working with someone else? Landon’s great and everything, but I’m not exactly making great progress on my three re’s.”

  Liz just laughed and shook her head. “Do you honestly have to ask me that? Of course, everyone on the ranch has been trained to understand the needs of the guests and to help build their trust while they are with us. It just so happened that Landon was primed and available when you arrived.”

  Elizabeth Jane watched her intently as she added with a shrug, “But if you really don’t like him, I suppose I can find someone else to give you lessons.”

  Ellie twisted the paper napkin in her hands, thinking about how best to answer. Did she really want anyone else? The truth was, she knew Landon had been right about being in the pen that day, and she wasn’t sure why she let him get to her so much. And to be completely honest, she did actually enjoy being around him. Yesterday during their brief time together he’d been kind and patient and had made her laugh more than once.

  “No, he’s fine enough for now,” she said noncommittally. “It’s just that I’ve been having dreams at night about someone from my past, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t see his face. It’s the same dream every night. Ends the same way, too, with me heartbroken and gasping for breath.” She looked down at her hands wrapped tightly around the glass as she confided her worries. She decided to talk to Liz about her dreams not just because they needed a new topic to discuss, but also because if she ever wanted to get better, Ellie knew she needed to open up to the people who were willing to help her.

  “Oh, that’s awful,” Liz said consolingly as she stirred her straw around the ice cubes in her lemonade. “But what’s it got to do with Landon?”

  Ellie thought about that for the second, realizing that even though she thought she’d changed the topic, she actually hadn’t. “I think I’m afraid that Landon is somehow trying to replace him. Does that make sense?”

  She cringed as she met Liz’s attentive gaze. “It seems so crazy,” Ellie continued. “It’s not like anything is happening between me and Landon. I’ve only known him a couple weeks—two weeks exactly. But for some reason, I just can’t let myself completely trust him in case I do end up falling for him. It’s so ridiculous! I don’t even know who this mystery man is, and yet I feel like I’m being unfaithful to him by spending time with Landon.”

  Liz just smiled and reached out to pat her hand. “Ellie, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. You’re trying to find yourself again, and something like that’s a lot of work. Just give yourself time. Be gentle on yourself and patient, the way you are with Penny. And, yes, I’ve noticed how much time you spend with her… If there is a mystery man from your past, I’m sure you’ll figure it out as the memories return. Meanwhile, just trust yourself. I know Landon, and I know for a fact he’d never do anything that would hurt you or risk damaging your healing process. Just let him be your friend, and if other feelings start to grow, you can worry about that then. I know he only wants what’s best for you. We all do.”

  Ellie sighed and glanced out the window at the cars zooming by outside. Of course, everything Liz said made perfect sense. And yet…

  She already knew it wasn’t a question of if she would fall for Landon.

  No, it was only a matter of time.

  And that was the one thing she seemed to have in infinite supply.

  Chapter 13

  After her talk with Elizabeth Jane over lunch, Ellie had resumed riding lessons with Landon—partially because she realized she was being unfair to him and partially because she really wanted to get out of the pen and finally walk the trails.

  If Landon felt surprised by her sudden willingness to spend time with him again, he certainly didn’t show it. He simply treated her the way he always had—with amused interest, kindness, and a bit of humor.

  “Just follow my lead. Buddy knows the way and he’ll be careful,” he said to her.

  After a couple days’ worth of lessons inside the pen, he’d at last agreed to guide her along the trails. Today would be the first time, and Ellie felt more excited than she cared to let on. As nice as Landon was, she still felt guarded around him and doubted that would ever fully change.

  Ellie leaned forward and patted her mount on the side of the neck. “We’re going to have fun today, aren’t we, Buddy?”

  The horse shook his head excitedly, his mane flipping back and forth as he realized Landon had opened the gate and they were headed for a real burst of exerci
se today.

  “Ellie, hang on to the reins!” Landon called to her with obvious exasperation. “If you really feel the need to hug your horse, it’s best to wait until you’re standing on the ground.”

  She furrowed her eyebrows, ready to let him know she didn’t appreciate his comment, until she noticed he was grinning. Always with the oddball sense of humor, this one. She let out a little laugh, which seemed to satisfy Landon, who then pressed both heels into his horse and moved to let Ellie and Buddy pass through the gate and into the wild open.

  Of course, she never could tell if he was being serious or not, so Ellie had learned to gauge how she should react by judging whatever expression he wore on his face. It was always easy to tell when he was joking around, because his eyes would light up and he’d wear a smile he just couldn’t hide.

  For the most part, he’d been patient with her and hadn’t said too many things to annoy her over the past few days. In truth, he’d become one of her biggest cheerleaders. He would get excited when she’d remember something from riding, and he overlooked her frustrated outbursts whenever she struggled with the other memories that still seemed so far from her grasp.

  “We’ll just go a little ways and then stop to stretch. I know you think you’re completely healed from the accident, but you need to be careful. We don’t want to do too much today,” Landon said as he and his horse looped back around to secure the gate.

  “I’ll let you know if things start to ache. Just keep riding unless I ask to stop.” She was fed up with everyone fussing over every little thing since her accident. She didn’t need Landon doing it, too. And she secretly knew she wouldn’t ask to stop, even if the pain tore into her like a jagged knife. This ride marked a big milestone for her and she would push through to make sure she finished it, no matter what.

  They began their way up the trail, dust lifting into the air with every step the horses took. Trees stood along one side of the path while the other lay wide open. Ellie could see more horses dotted along the landscape silhouetted by the mountains in the distance. The rhythmic clopping of hooves set the pace of their expedition as the two humans and two horses journeyed deeper down the path.

  Ellie closed her eyes and let the warmth of the sun kiss her face. Had she ever taken time to stop and enjoy the little beauties of life in the time before, or was she always running back and forth to make appointments, to achieve, achieve, achieve? Everything seemed so much more peaceful and calm here away from the traffic and chaos of Los Angeles and the constant chatter of her mother. Even though her father said she’d never managed a visit to Alaska before it was here that felt like home, felt like where she needed to be.

  Opening her eyes again, she saw Landon glancing back over his shoulder at her with a contented smile, and it kind of made her heart beat hard and steady like the hoofbeats on the ground. Sure, he might be aggravating sometimes, but he was also, truly, a good man. Elizabeth Jane wouldn’t have hired anyone who couldn’t be trusted, anyone who wasn't the best. Might he also be the best at things outside of his work at the ranch? Might there be more to Landon that was worth exploring?

  She flushed at the thought, glad that Landon had already turned his sights back at the trail. Despite their bumpy start, she couldn’t deny that the man was nice to look at. Before her accident, she probably wouldn’t have found herself attracted to a simple cowboy. According to what her mother reported, her boyfriends back then wore only the finest clothes—not scuffed up boots and denim jeans that had faded from years on the back of a horse.

  Landon’s dark hair poked out from beneath the back of his hat just begging for the haircut that was already long overdue. The muscles in his shoulders stretched the fabric while he relaxed in the saddle and maneuvered his body to offset the movements of his horse.

  Swallowing down the lump that had begun to form in her throat, Ellie reminded herself not to get drawn in by his good looks and charm. He was there to do his job, and she had come to heal. The last thing she needed to complicate things was for her to start thinking of him as anything other than a kindly instructor. Besides, until she could figure out the identity of the man in her dreams, she couldn’t risk letting anyone else into her heart.

  “How are you doing back there?” Landon’s voice interrupted her thoughts as he turned back in his saddle to look at her once again. Immediately her cheeks started to burn. She prayed he couldn’t read the thoughts that had just been running through her mind unchecked. “At the bottom of the ridge here, we have our first rest spot. The horses can grab a quick drink from the creek while we climb the hill and grab a view of the whole ranch below. It’s the only place on the property where we can do that, you know, and it’s not a sight you want to miss.”

  “I’m all right, but it wouldn’t hurt for me to stop and stretch.” The insides of her thighs had begun to ache, but she refused to let out just how out of shape she’d become since the accident. She wanted to see that coveted view, and she wanted to reach the end of the trail today, too.

  Nothing could stop her now.

  As they came upon the creek, Landon eased his horse into a stop and easily swung his leg over the saddle to dismount. Unfortunately, Ellie knew she couldn't get down on her own without risking an injury. Even though she’d spent the past few days in the saddle learning to ride in the pen, none of that had prepared her for how sore her body would get on an actual ride.

  Landon surveyed the scenery before them. “We can just leave the horses here to drink. There’s a footpath up to the top of the hill, and we can sit down to have our lunch. Liz’s cook at the house made up sandwiches with leftover chicken for us.”

  When he began to lead his own horse to the water without stopping to help Ellie off hers, she decided to try to dismount on her own.

  Better than calling out to him for help.

  Taking a deep breath, Ellie shifted her weight to her left foot and pressed down hard in the stirrup. When she tried to stand and swing her right leg over Buddy’s back, a terrible pain shot through her sore muscles. So much so that she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. Maybe things were a bit stiffer that she’d even realized.

  Her leg buckled in the stirrup as the other slipped over the horse’s back. Bracing herself for the pain she knew was about to happen, she clenched her eyes shut. But before her already aching body could hit the ground, strong arms grabbed her and pulled her tight to his chest.

  Landon did not look happy. “Ellie,” he said with a frown, “why didn’t you ask me for help? You could have ended up breaking something… again.”

  Half of her wanted to kiss him and half wanted to break out of his arms and run as far away as her tired legs could carry her.

  “Well?” Landon demanded, his expression not softening.

  She sighed. “If you must know, I didn’t realize my legs were as tired as they were. And I didn’t realize I’d have a problem,” she lied.

  “You can put me down any time now,” she said with a groan. The whole situation was completely ridiculous and she didn’t know if she should be feeling angry or embarrassed.

  He shifted his mouth slightly, obviously fighting against a smile. “No, I think I’ll just carry you to the top of the hill. I can’t risk having you fall down again.”

  Her mouth fell open, but not a single word came out. He’s got to be joking!

  But as he began to walk away from the horses toward a path that led up the hill, she realized he was dead serious. Well, that certainly put an end to any romantic longings that had begun to resurface. She refused to be treated like a child—or, worse, an invalid. And she was going to let him hear it.

  Just as soon as they got to the top of that hill.

  Chapter 14

  Ellie prepared her angry lecture as Landon carried her up the hill. When at last they reached the top of the outlook point, he set her on her feet and kept a steadying hand at her waist. She spun toward him, fully ready to let him have a piece of her mind, but then she saw it…

>   Heaven had come to earth and lain itself out before them.

  Ellie turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. This view had a bit of everything—mountains, trees, fields, and ocean all came together to form one magical, uninterrupted picture.

  The mountains stood majestically in the distance, framing the land below. The ocean sparkled on the horizon far more beautiful than any piece of diamond jewelry could ever be. Horses sprinkled the open meadows while a burst of trees framed them in with deliberate care. Other than the fireweed and pops of rainbow color from the flowers, everything remained a strong emerald green. Ellie couldn’t even imagine how beautiful this view would be when the fall colors arrived in all their glory.

  “Takes your breath away, doesn’t it?” Landon’s voice broke her from the spell she was under. She realized then that he still hadn’t taken his hand away from her waist and—perhaps even more surprisingly—that she was okay with it.

  “It’s beautiful,” was all she managed to murmur in that moment. Ellie simply couldn’t tear her eyes from the stunning scene that had unfolded all around them. She’d always loved being a part of the ranch, but being above it, being able to see the whole picture… well, it did something to her.

  Is this how her life would look once she was able to piece it all together again? Would it also be a beautiful mix of color and textures, or would the picture that revealed itself turn out far bleaker?

  She was almost afraid to find out because until she knew for sure, she had hope. Hope that she could be anything.

  She continued to watch the world in awe until Landon guided her to a patch of shade and motioned for her to sit. “Go ahead and rest for a bit before we make our way back. We might have overdone it by coming this far today, but I just couldn’t stop myself from bringing you here.”

  As much as she hated to lose part of her view, Ellie couldn’t deny that a rest would be helpful. She allowed Landon to help her to the ground, but still gave a cursory argument as was her way with the bossy cowboy. “I’m fine. Honestly, this has been likely the best thing I’ve done since I got here. So don’t ruin it for me!”